Finding accommodation in the Eastern Suburbs is almost impossible.
Prices have sky-rocketed and demand has increased due to short-term rentals and portfolio pimps, both foreign and domestic. Proximity to beautiful beaches and the CBD combines with enviable dining and entertainment possibilities to force most millennials out of the local market. And, unlike the school sports carnivals on which these millennials were raised, only one person wins a real estate prize.
Desperados join endless queues snaking around local footpaths every weekend in the hope of securing a dwelling in our patch of paradise. But do not despair. The Beast has put together this helpful guide on how to secure a rental in the Eastern Suburbs.
Be young
The property market is supposedly the domain of Boomers who bought properties with their lunch money, but that is not entirely true (except the bit about lunch money). In reality, youthful profile photos on Facebook accommodation pages are far more likely to catch the eye of tenants or landlords looking for renters.
Inform potential landlords or housemates that you are ‘super easy-going and make a great housemate’, and be sure to mention you’re clean, quiet, respectful and interested in wellbeing and Sydney’s vibrant social scene.
Also, remember this is a very competitive market, so don’t forget to mention that you’re ‘…willing to share a bed if necessary’ with the other cute young female in your profile photos.
Be female
Surely young females are disadvantaged in a world still dragging itself out of the pit of patriarchy. Not always. Photos of young women in their Sunday best attract far more clicks from potential landlords and housemates. So, list your desired weekly price point and emphasise your youth and gender, but remember that this may not be enough.
Be attractive
Attractive young females dominate local Facebook accommodation sites and they are your competition. In Bondi, properties are appraised by hotness per square metre, so flood your profile with selfies in your little black number, your bikini or the latest active wear, and learn how to pose like an influencer.
Be exotic
Whether it’s the tyranny of distance or Australia’s lingering cultural cringe, European heritage carries the allure of grandeur for Aussies who can visit the old world vicariously through their new housemate, or those who can relive the highlights of their gap year.
Be prepared
Be young, attractive, exotic and female, and be prepared for an avalanche of responses containing myriad euphemisms such as ‘an arrangement’, especially if you’ve offered to share a bed.
If you’re not young, attractive, exotic or female with a strong social media brand?
Join the back of the queue.
Image: Rafaella Mendes Diniz
First published in The Beast magazine, May, 2026.
kieranblakewriter 