Almighty God has successfully sued Scott Morrison for $549,250 after proving that the Prime Minister of Australia has defamed the image of the lord our saviour. God proved beyond reasonable doubt that the words and actions of the devout Christian had brought the lord’s name into disrepute, during a hearing at the Court of Holy Omnipotence.
Morrison publicly celebrates his religion and is a proud member of Horizon Church in Sutherland, south of Sydney, but his actions as a junior government minister, and now as prime minister, have been decidedly un-Christian. During the lengthy court case, God drew particular attention to the following incidents as evidence of defamation:
Biloela Family – The family of Priya, Nades, Kopika and Tharunicaa Murugappan have been detained on Christmas Island since March 2018 after seeking asylum in Australia. They were forcibly removed from their home in Biloela, Queensland, where the two daughters were born. God raised Morrison’s refusal to intervene in the case on moral grounds as proof of un-Christian behaviour.
Two Masters – The Bible advises Christians to avoid serving two masters, but God easily demonstrated that Morrison’s serves both Rupert and Gina.
God’s Creation – The court found that Morrison’s support of the fossil fuel industry and his failure to protect the natural environment is destroying the planet that God created, and God was not pleased.
Our Father – Morrison and his PR team have carefully cultivated an image of Morrison as the ‘Daggy Dad’ and the lovable father of the nation – but God reminded the PM that only he is everyone’s father.
Blessed are the poor – The Bible also teaches Christians to help those less fortunate, including the poor. However, the court heard details of Morrison’s complicity in the Robodebt scheme, the disparity in school funding, the refusal to increase Newstart, and countless government policies which enrich big business.
Resting – God created the world in six days, and only rested on the seventh, once the job was complete – whereas Morrison has been resting every day since becoming prime minister.
Respect your elders – Countless Bible stories teach Christians to respect the elderly, but God highlighted Morrison’s central role in defunding Aged Care facilities, which left residents increasingly vulnerable to mistreatment, and to COVID-19.
Thoughts and Prayers – On a personal note, God chastised Morrison for responding to every crisis with nothing more than thoughts and prayers.
Morrison responded to the guilty verdict with a smirk.
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