Australia has stunned the world just hours before its opening match of the FIFA World Cup after announcing it has changed its name to Straya.
“Straya more accurately reflects Aussie culture, values and our way of life,” began the brief statement from the Office of the Prime Minister.
“Names carry great significance and it has been decided that Straya better embodies and exemplifies our cherished national identity and character, which has been formed through hardship and triumph by all of those who have contributed to the fabric of our society.”
In ‘Aussie English’ this means:
“Real Aussies say Straya”
“Noone says Or-Stray-Lia mate, we’re not the bloody royals. What does it even mean anyway, Australia? The land to the South. South of what? South of Europe, south of England. Lots of places are south of England. Nah, Straya’s a much better name – fair dinkum.”
Changing the name to Straya reflects an ongoing international trend.
The Socceroos’ first opponent at the World Cup also changed its name recently, from Turkey to Turkiye. Another participant at the World Cup, Czechia, was known as Czech Republic after splitting from Czechoslovakia, while the African nation of Eswatini was called Swaziland.
Some commentators believe Straya is following the lead of Eswatini in shaking off the vestiges of its British colonial past. However, Straya remains a member of the Commonwealth, and its swimmers are set to sweep the medals at the upcoming Commonwealth Games. It has also failed to become a republic.
Others believe everyday culture prompted the change.
The land Down Under is famous for creating nicknames which involve shortening or lengthening official names. Even their political leaders are known by monikers. Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison called himself ScoMo, current Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is known as Albo, and his opponent in the previous Federal election, Peter Dutton, was called PeDo.
In fact, some commentators believe the name change was instigated by Albo in order to improve his popularity and cash in on the surge in patriotism during the World Cup. Albo sells himself as a boy from a single parent family who grew up in Housing Commission in inner-city Sydney, and claims to represent Labor’s historical base, the working class. Renaming Australia to Straya helps Strayans forget the number of investment properties Albanese owns.
Aussie citizens are not the only ones still reeling from the announcement. The United Nations apparently received no warning of the change, and usually oversees the complicated process of approving national name changes on signs, military uniforms, official currency, government letterhead – and more.
Passports, of course, would also need to be changed, but at least Strayans can live in hope that their passports may no longer cost up to $AU422. Furthermore, the national flag may finally drop the Union Jack.
A source at the UN revealed exclusively to this publication that the world body contacted the federal government to request a formal application and show evidence of changes to the aforementioned objects, to which the Aussies replied:
“Nah, she’ll be right mate”
Strayans are still processing the change, but many are more concerned with the Socceroos beating Turkiye and bringing glory to Straya.
kieranblakewriter 