Brazil Fights Zika with DEET Infused Olympic Torches.


The Brazilian Government has promised to stamp out the Zika virus with unique DEET infused torches in the lead up to the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

The torches will emit DEET which acts as a repellant to insects and will be distributed to citizens throughout the country in an attempt to wipe out the destructive virus before the beginning of the games on August 5.

“There will be no Zika in Brazil” declared embattled President Dilma Rousseff.

“These specially designed Rio 2016 Olympic Games DEET Torches (trademarked and patented) will destroy every Zika carrying Aedes mosquito and ensure that every athlete, resident, spectator, official and visitor will be safe during the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.”

The announcement of the special Rio 2016 Olympic Games DEET Torches follows the release of the official Brazilian team uniform which is a full length, hi-tech, permethrin treated skin suit designed for optimal performance.

The thousands of torches will also form the centre-piece of extraordinary daytime Carnival events throughout the country.

Carnival normally occurs in Rio de Janeiro during February, but local governments have been instructed to organise Carnivals every day and to force every resident to parade and dance through the streets of their neighbourhood, while holding aloft their Rio 2016 Olympic Games DEET Torches (trademarked and patented).

“Participation is mandatory, but G-Strings are not” explained Rouseff.

“Infact, it is advisable to wear long sleeves in order to prevent bites from Aedes mosquitos.”

The fight against Zika will also be carried out in homes throughout the South American nation. Residents have been instructed to maintain high standards of cleanliness and hygiene, and to use their Rio 2016 Olympic Games DEET Torches correctly.

“The local government told us we must use the Rio 2016 Olympic Games DEET Torch every day” said Rio resident Rodrigo Alves de Costa, before elaborating on the instructions from compliance officers,

“We are not allowed to let the flame go out until the final moment of the closing ceremony and we were told to only use the official Rio 2016 Olympic Games DEET Torch, with the Rio 2016 Olympic Games insignia, to control pests. If we use other methods or other brands, we will be fined”

Rousseff would not comment on claims that the torches will be taken back from residents the day after the closing ceremony and returned to the IOC.

Image: Igor Lepilin





Posted in:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: