kieranblakewriter

A mother in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs has been banned from the local playground for interacting with her own children while they were playing.

The woman, known as Helen, was banned by other parents for failing to observe accepted standards of behaviour.

“She was banned because she engaged and interacted – voluntarily mind you! – with her children the entire time she was at the playground” explained local mother Cindy.

“Thus, it was made very clear to her that she and her children are not welcome here until they learn the code”.

The code of which Cindy speaks demands that parents arrive at the park with two accoutrements; a mobile phone, and a coffee (purchased from an approved coffee vendor), both of which should suffice to occupy the parents gainfully while their children play.

“Helen did not bring a phone, and she would also arrive with a thermos of tea…” said Cindy

“…yes, and I’m sure she even brought peanut butter sandwiches once, remember Cindy…” continued fellow playground regular Janice.

Cindy then elaborated on the cause of the ban.

“She did not abide by the code, which everyone here knows – even the children know it. My son Jackson…” motioning to a boy pushing a little girl off the swing “…knows that this is Mummy’s time. It’s time for Jackson to play while I read all the parenting Apps I’ve downloaded onto my phone”.

Helen could not be reached for comment as it was believed she was playing hide and seek with her children.

Published in The Beast, November 2015