Australia expecting a flood of medals in Paris 2024.

Australia will be drowning in medals at the 2024 Olympic Games thanks to the support of mining magnate Gina Rinehart.

Rinehart recently announced a sponsorship deal with the Australian Olympic Committee through her company Hancock Prospecting, which will see Australia inundated with Olympic medals and extreme weather events until 2026.

The lucrative deal includes financial support of Australian Olympic teams at the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics, and the Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics in February 2026, as well as the Youth Olympic Games in Gangwon 2024 and in Dakar 2026, plus the Pacific Games in 2023.

“Hancock Prospecting is a great contributor to Australia,” announced a spokesperson for the deal.

“The company has contributed so much to our sporting teams over the years, and has contributed even more to our massive carbon footprint, rising sea levels, rising global temperatures, floods, fires and Australia’s worsening international reputation on climate action. More importantly, the company has contributed millions of dollars to the Institute of Public Affairs, which published a climate change review paper in 2017 that claimed most global heating was natural, a claim which experts rejected as “flawed” and “junk science”.

The spokesperson then explained some of the finer details of the arrangement.

“We must win a lot of medals before 2026, especially at the Winter events, because Ms Rinehart’s mining operations will ensure that there is no snow or ice on which to compete after 2026.”

Hancock Prospecting has a long-standing connection with sports such as swimming and rowing at international level and is credited with helping individual athletes win medals at major championships. Observers had wondered why the company chose to focus on sports such as these, until it was explained that Australia and much of the South Pacific will soon be under water due to fossil fuels, so developing competence in swimming and rowing is logical.

Various organisations have slammed the deal.

Queensland Conservation Council’s director Dave Copeman was “furious” at the decision, and was quoted as saying:

“There’s a real question of how much does a couple of big cheques to Swimming Australia and the AOC buy you out of a history of environmental devastation.”

“How the hell did they do this? What are they thinking?”

Supporters of the deal rejected such criticism.

“Look, it’s simple. Sport is a business. Medals cost money. If you want Aussies to win medals you have to put up with bushfires, floods, food shortages, crop failures, air pollution, disruption, climate refugees and more extreme weather events.”

“A lifetime occupying an unlivable planet is nothing compared to five minutes of patriotic fervour.”

Why does Gina Rinehart sponsor water sports?

EXCLUSIVE: Billionaire Gina Rinehart has revealed why she donates so much money to the federations and athletes of water-based sports in Australia. Rinehart’s company, Hancock Prospecting, is one of the major sponsors of sports such as Swimming and Rowing and has funded many of the Olympic gold medals Australia has won in recent years.

“Australia will soon be underwater,” Rinehart revealed in an exclusive interview.

“And I am largely responsible for that.”

Most of Australia’s major cities and towns hug the coastline and could soon be threatened by sea levels rising as a result of the climate crisis. Hancock Prospecting is devoted primarily to livestock farming and mining, which are driving climate change and forcing ice caps to melt. Furthermore, Rinehart wields enormous political power in Australia and has helped prevent the nation from making the transition to renewable energy.

“It is so important for all Australians to be competent swimmers, and to know how to manage a water-based vessel as sea levels rise,” Rinehart continued.

“As sea levels rise, most Australians will have to travel by water and deal with more extreme storms and floods, unless people like me stop using traditional farming methods and stop burning fossil fuels. This is why I pour so much money into sports like swimming and rowing – aside from the PR benefits and the opportunity to distract everyday Aussies from the damage my businesses do to the planet.”

“I don’t sponsor sports such as Cycling, Athletics or Hockey because you can’t play Hockey underwater (except at Uni games) and you can’t run, jump throw or cycle underwater.”

Hancock Prospecting is the major sponsor of Swimming Australia and a major partner of Rowing Australia, and is called the “matriarch” of the Australian Dolphins Swim Team. She has sponsored Australian swimming since 1992, and her ‘generous direct financial support’ is described as ‘especially critical to Swimming Australia’ for it allows athletes to ‘focus on their on their training and performance and not be distracted by financial pressures that most athletes face’.

In recognition of the amount of money Rinehart has given to sports such as rowing and swimming, she was awarded an Order of Merit by the Australian Olympic Committee (interalia), and is described as an ‘inspiration’ to Australian swimmers.

Asked if she would donate some of her considerable wealth to other countries even more directly threatened by rising sea levels, such as Australia’s neighbours in the South Pacific, Rinehart replied:

“No, I’m a patriot.”

Image: Patrick Hamilton