Gladys Berejiklian’s fatal mistake.

EXCLUSIVE: Sources close to Gladys Berejiklian have revealed the fatal mistake which forced her to resign as Premier of NSW: she was not photographed with a dog.

Experts have conceded that a photograph with a cute dog would have distracted people from the corruption scandal which prompted her shock resignation.

“Australians trust anyone with a dog,” claimed a member of Berejiklian’s inner circle.

“If Gladys had been photographed with a dog before, or even after, the accusations of corruption from the ICAC, she would have won over every person in NSW and saved herself from having to resign. She was not forced out of office because of her rather sordid relationship with a disgraced politician, and not because of suspicious grants to a random shooting club. She was forced out because we didn’t create this photo op, it’s on us.”

Political insiders agree with Berejikilan’s team on the power of a photo with a dog.

“Australians are very gullible and impressionable, especially when people are photographed with dogs. The country is obsessed with dogs, and anyone who owns a dog, or even pretends to own one, is regarded as inherently good. Politicians, wayward footballers, corrupt businessmen and social media influencers all use dogs to soften and enhance their image, and it works.

This is why photo op’s with dogs are so useful, no essential, in Australia’s current political climate. They convince Australians that Scott Morrison is caring, that Peter Dutton is human, and that Anthony Albanese is…well…not nothing.

Somehow, Berejiklian’s team forgot this and we didn’t see any photos of Gladys with a dog. One photo with a pooch could have saved her political life.”

The failure to photograph the fallen premier with a furry friend has led some political commentators to suggest, privately, that Berejikilian was sacrificed by the LNP. Either because she is a woman, more popular Morrison, or not an openly devout Christian.

Experts also cite Morrison as evidence of the recuperative power of a photo with man’s best friend.

“Through his many failures and demonstrations of complete and utter incompetence, the prime minister has been photographed with a dog. When the public appear to be turning on him, he is photographed with a dog, or his family. When his brand is in urgent need of repair, he’s photographed with his family and a dog.”

According to leading political commentators, the only group of people who seem to see through Puppy Propaganda are members of independent anti-corruption agencies, like the one that ended the reign of the NSW premier. The same people Scott Morrison is scared to let into Canberra.

Experts were then asked if Australians are ever likely to see Berejiklian photographed with a dog.

“Only if she enters federal politics.”

Image: http://www.abc.net.au

Why are dogs allowed in cafes?

Dogs are as common in Australian cafes these days as smashed avocado and freshly-ground coffee. But should they be?

Diners adhering to the latest social trend pile into cafes with their four-legged friends and potentially threaten the health of cafe staff and other diners.

Surely, pet dogs present a threat to hygiene standards, particularly in an age of heightened awareness since the outbreak of COVID-19. While humans are now required to check in via an app, and to sanitise their hands, dogs are not. Dogs don’t sanitise their paws before their owners take brunch, and a lot of these dogs have come straight from the park or the beach where they have been rolling around in the grass, the mud or the sand.

Dogs have a seat at the table.

Many owners even set their dog on a cafe chair to eat and drink with them. The dog’s posterior, which may have recently ejected a dropping and has never seen a bidet, is thus placed on a seat which a future patron will occupy. Cafes wipe down tables, and clean cutlery and crockery, but I don’t remember seeing waitstaff wiping down a seat at a cafe.

How is this hygienic?

How is it allowed during COVID-19?

Pet dogs definitely present a threat to health and hygiene in areas of food preparation and consumption. For this reason, they are technically prohibited from public food preparation areas, such as communal barbecue areas at parks and beaches.

But my dog is clean

Owners will claim that their dog is clean. It gets washed, goes to the vet and is healthy.

How do we know that?

Cafe staff and other customers have to take the owner’s word for it. Every other person using that cafe has to trust that every dog is clean and not likely to threaten the hygiene and safety of the eatery.

We do it at home

Dog owners will argue that they let their dogs into their kitchens and dining rooms at home, and that they let their dogs eat from their floor or their dinner plates, or straight from their hands. They argue that it is no different to a dog eating at a cafe.

It is different.

Owners accept the risk of contamination when they obtain a pet. Owners know exactly where the dog has been before it enters the kitchen or the dining room. Owners know when the dog was last washed. Owners can also control their dog and stop it from doing soemthing that might threaten someone else’s health or safety. Strangers can’t. Dogs won’t automatically obey directions of a stranger, and dog owners often react with horror when someone else tries to control their precious pooch.

Maybe the current pandemic is an opportunity to remind people that dogs don’t belong in cafes.

Image: 2PhotoPots