Thousands of NSW teachers issued with fines.

Thousands of NSW school teachers have been issued with fines on the eve of the summer holidays after being caught committing heinous acts of treason.

Every registered primary and secondary school teacher has received a fine of at least $100 from the NSW government, which must be paid in order for teachers to keep their jobs in 2021. It is believed similar fines have been issued to teachers throughout the country.

The penalty must be paid to a branch of the NSW government calling itself the New South Wales Education Standards Authority (NESA), which then issues teachers with something called Accreditation. Without Accreditation, teachers cannot work in any recognised educational institution in the state.

NESA stated the fines were issued in retaliation for teachers committing crimes against the nation.

“Teachers are being punished for educating the next generation of Australians,” announced a spokesperson.

“They have done so willingly and ceaselessly, and against the wishes of the current state and federal governments. An educated population is harder to control. An educated population would never have elected a failed marketing man as prime minister. An educated population would never fall for Scott Morrison’s marketing spin. An educated population would not swallow Murdoch propaganda, and an educated population would never excuse the corruption of ‘poor Gladys’. For their continued insistence on educating the populace, teachers have been issued with fines.”

The punishment does not end with fines, however.

Once the fines are paid, teachers must then participate in mandated professional development sessions throughout the year. Most of these sessions will take place during teachers’ free time, and while some of the sessions are free, many also incur a charge. Thus, on top of their annual fine, lowly paid teachers are also forced to spend their hard earned money on work-related training with little or no tangible benefit to them or the children they teach.

NESA rejected claims that Accreditation simply adds another layer of paperwork to an already over beauracratised occupation.

“Without the processing of mandated fees and professional development sessions, our staff would not have any boxes to tick, and without boxes to tick, they would be at a loss.”

NESA also argues that Accreditation brings the teaching profession in line with other occupations such as law, medicine, and finance, which all have membership organisations upholding professional standards. Excited teachers then asked if teaching salaries would now be commensurate with those professions, but the government replied,

“No, that would be UnAustralian.”

Image: Element5Digital

Earn your turns at The Oaks flow trail.

Jump, hop, drop and flow on The Oaks flow trail. Rail the berms and float over rock features at the end of the Woodford to Glenbrook fire trail in the NSW Blue Mountains National Park.

Treat yourself to some fun and frivolity on a well-constructed single track trail after the journey down from Woodford. Take the black line and pop off every jump and drop, or opt for the blue line and just feel the flow. You can even do both. The trip from the end of the flow trail back to the start is only about 2k on a sealed road.

The flow trail runs parallel to the last section of the fire trail in the national park and is a reward for enduring the undulating trek from Woodford, kind of like the fun you add on to the end of a workout. The Oaks Trail is a moderate workout, and the beginning of the MTB trail can be reached from Woodford in about one hour without too much effort – it is essentially downhill, so

‘keep your hands off the brakes and your eyes upon the trail’

You can warm up for the flow trail at certain parts of the fire trail. You could read the following signs as a warning, or an invitation. With enough speed, you can get good air off the humps.

The signs are great for your confidence too, as they tell you you’re going so fast you need to be alerted to the presence of speed humps.

Upon arrival at the first boom gate, you’ll see a short single track off to the right, and while this has no designated features, it is still fun and more interesting than following the fire trail. It’s also a walking trail, so keep your eyes open for hikers.

Cheat

You could cheat. You could get yourself to Glenbrook, then ride or drive to the start of the MTB flow trail, without doing the hard work from Woodford. The start of the flow trail lies a few kilometres from town and it is even possible to drive all the way to the carpark before enjoying the jumps, drops and berms.

That said, the climb out of the gully from the creek crossing back to Glenbrook is quite steep, and almost as arduous as riding from Glenbrook all the way back to Woodford on the fire trail.

Still hungry?

If you’re still hungry for single track and MTB features, cross the highway to Knapsack Reserve and enjoy the trails in this small section of bushland. There’s enough to keep you entertained for a good while, and the downhill track is steep and rocky.

Image: Nick Rickert

My NSW State of Origin team, 2020.

My NSW State of Origin team for 2020, including the players who are currently available (not injured) and those who will play in the grand final between Melbourne and Penrith.

Fullback – James Tedesco

Wings – Josh Addo-Carr, David Nofoaluma

Centres – Tom Trbojevic, Jack Wighton

Five-Eighth- Luke Keary

Halfback – Nathan Cleary

Props – Junior Paulo, Payne Haas

Hooker – Damien Cook

Backrow – Boyd Cordner (c), Angus Crichton

Lock – Cameron Murrary

Interchange

David Klemmer

Regan Campbell-Gillard

Tyson Frizell

Ryan Papenhuyzen

Wade Graham

Image: http://www.rebelsport.com.au

New South Wales Athletes to Bunk Down With North Korean Athletes at Rio Olympics.

NSWflag

Athletes from New South Wales will share accommodation with their counterparts from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, following the decision to remove all Australian team members from the athlete’s village at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

The decision of the Australian team bosses to remove the team, on the grounds of faulty electricity and plumbing, provided a perfect opportunity to further strengthen ties with a state whose ideology epitomises the political trajectory of the current NSW government, according to Premier Mike Baird, who recently consented to appoint himself The Supreme and Glorious Leader of the Greater Democratic Territory of North Victoria.

“The athletes are very excited to be sharing accommodation with our comrades from North Korea,” declared The Supreme and Glorious Leader.

“It provides them with the chance to learn and practice the values of loyalty, obedience, acquiescence and responsible citizenship, which they will then use to strengthen the Greater Democratic Territory of North Victoria upon their return from Brazil.”

A subversive journalist then disrespectfully asked The Supreme and Glorious Leader how the athletes themselves had responded to the news. The Supreme and Glorious Leader instructed security to seize the misguided reporter’s accreditation, before consenting to bless us with an answer.

“They did not protest, nor did the North Korean athletes.”

A reporter from Sydney prostrated himself before The Supreme and Glorious Leader before politely requesting permission to inquire of The Supreme and Glorious Leader to consent to enlighten his loyal subjects as to whether NSW athletes would march with the North Korean team in the opening ceremony.

“If they learn to march and salute correctly, then yes.”

The assembled media then lined up to kiss the sacred hand of The Supreme and Glorious Leader as he made his way to a luncheon with Kim Jong-un.

Image:www.ausflag.com.au