You can’t say anything these days without fear of being cancelled or sued, or even arrested. Everyone’s so sensitive that the slightest hint of political incorrectness will offend some delicate little snowflake.
If you ask how China wins so many Olympic swimming medals when they’re always the ones getting rescued at Bondi, someone will accuse you of being racist and tell you that it’s not even true.
What would they know, were they are a lifeguard at Bondi for 10 years?
If you’re lucky, your fellow Facebook contributors will tell the lifeguard to take a chill pill, and remind them that it’s just harmless fun – like drowning.
You can’t say anything these days.
You can’t relax after work with some mindless scrolling of your favourite Facebook page until you arrive at the meme about a German, a Canadian, an Aussie and an American who walk into a stadium and spell out:
Farken Smellie Hoare Kunz
Because while you enjoy an innocent chuckle, a teacher will surely jump online and remind you that she wouldn’t accept that level of smut from her year five class. Another killjoy will then tell you that Sydney boy Ollie Hoare didn’t bust his lungs in the green and gold to be reduced to toilet humour.
You can’t even be patriotic these days.
A like-minded snowflake will object to a meme of Kamala Harris impersonating Ronald McDonald, about to start a job at Maccas. Little Miss Snowflake will question its relevance to the Eastern Suburbs and label the post unnecessary. She will then have to be informed that a local Aussie Facebook page is the perfect place to celebrate a MAGA victory, and the mob will deny her right to free speech if she criticises the man who is protecting our right to free speech.
If this joke is banned, you also won’t be allowed to post a photo of some elongated marine debris attached to a Velcro strap, and ask if anyone lost their strap-on at Rose Bay. You certainly couldn’t take it even further and repost some random meme of Joe Biden and Harris between a PornHub banner and a caption which reads:
Interracial Couple F//k Entire Nation.
That would be cancelled. It’s in no way relevant to the Eastern Suburbs. You’d have to localise it by suggesting we insert Albo and Penny W, but if you claim that we can only blame them for f//king up Australia, someone will refer you to the caption and explain that Australia is in fact an entire nation.
Or maybe you could repost it.
With Trump back in power, we will see exactly how long it takes an interracial couple to f//k an entire nation.
Image: Ulvi Safari
kieranblakewriter 