Tiny Triangle is an ingenious use of public space designed to lure thousands of visitors to Clovelly.
Located on the corner of Clovelly Road and Carrington Road, the minute patch of land will be transformed into a social, educational, environmental and entertainment hub when it is completed in mid-2024.
“Clovelly will henceforth be home to the world’s most famous triangle,” boasted a spokesperson for Randwick City Council.
“Taking inspiration from Canberra’s Cockington Green Gardens and Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’, it is guaranteed to add social and economic value to this desirable suburb and the city in which it lies.”
An aggressive marketing campaign will promote the green urban oasis throughout the world, including in San Marino, Vatican City and Monaco, and the Tiny Temptations slogan will persuade tourists to enjoy following activities:
Cinema under the stars
An exclusive open-air cinematic experience for two among the bonsai trees. Snuggle up to someone special in front of a smartphone as the protagonists negotiate a steamy love triangle. Don’t forget the Tiny Teddys.
LittlePalooza
An eclectic arts festival headlined by UK rapper Tinie Tempah, which will also feature tributes to Little River Band, Small Faces, Adam and the Ants, Lil Nas X and Little Patty. Electric Fields will perform their version of Paul Kelly’s timeless classic, From Little Things Big Things Grow, and don’t miss ‘Tiptoe Tween Two Tiny Tulips’ – a tribute to Tiny Tim.
Murdoch’s Meeting of the Minds
A monthly philosophy forum for people with small minds, proudly sponsored by the Southern Courier.
Community Garden
The miniscule community garden will occupy one corner of the triangle, and allow local green thumbs to grow micro greens, finger limes and cherry tomatoes. Produce will be served on gigantic plates at hatted restaurants.
History Walk
Plaques will line the perimeter of the pocket park and pay tribute to the beauty and history of Little Bay, as well as our local sporting heroes, especially jockeys and Nippers.
School Excursions
Kindergarten and Pre-school kids can admire the miniature model of Clovelly, while senior secondary Philosophy students can take turns to sit in the triangle and ask,
Why?
One module of the Maths curriculum will require students to calculate the cost of the project per square inch.
Cynics within the Randwick City catchment question the wisdom of the project, and residents further down Clovelly Road fear the same ideation will be imposed upon the triangle at the intersection of Clovelly Road and Burnie Street. If so, they threaten to declare the land a sovereign state because…
“The only things that will go missing in these famous triangles are our council rates.”
First published in The Beast magazine, April 2024
kieranblakewriter 