The first journey of the reinstated La Perouse to Kurnell ferry service transported former Prime Minister Scott Morrison to his new home in the middle of Botany Bay and attracted thousands of tourists.
One catamaran each from the Eastern Suburbs and The Shire disembarked from the newly-constructed wharves and met beside the renovated remains of the Endeavour, where Morrison will live for the foreseeable future with Jen and the girls.
Following the ceremonial surrender of Morrison’s Cronulla Sharks gear to local MP Mark Speakman, Morrison farewelled Captain Cook’s landing place with a wave and a smirk.
“Mr Morrison is not wanted in The Shire anymore, and does not deserve to be the no.1 ticket holder of the Sharks,” stated a spokesman for Speakman.
“Subsequently, the first trip of this ferry service was utilised to return him to his homeland in the Eastern Suburbs. However, the people of the East don’t want him either, so his boat was turned back and redirected to his beloved Endeavour, where he will complete his empathy training.”
After dumping the Morrisons in the Endeavour, ferries returned to their respective wharves to collect masses of Australians eager for a photo opportunity with the ousted national leader as he hosed down the deck and fished for barramundi, before strumming his ukelele and longing for Cuba.
“Tickets sold out quicker than a Rapid Antigen Test,” claimed ferry operators.
“The first vessel was full of visitors all the way from Biloela in Queensland, and the second was reserved entirely for passengers registered only as Malcom and Lucy from Point Piper.”
“The sheer number of excited visitors converging on both sides of the bay confirms our predictions that reinstating the ferry service would generate significant tourism revenue for the region, and justifies the millions of taxpayers’ dollars invested in this COVID-recovery maritime infrastructure project,” stated those behind the plan.
“Furthermore, the Morrisons are likely to remain off shore indefinitely and this guarantees consistent tourist revenue for many years to come.”
Authorities responsible for the ferry service and the re-fitting of Captain Cook’s famous vessel acknowledge the obstacles preventing many Australians from visiting La Perouse, and have organised for the Endeavour to circumnavigate Australia in the near future.
“It is hoped the Endeavour can also continue into the islands of the South Pacific, so that residents can personally thank Mr Morrison and his donors for threatening the very existence of low-lying nations. A stop in Hawaii is also scheduled, but we are adamant that once the vessel reaches Hawaii, we will not be in any way responsible for Mr Morrison’s safety.”
Image: http://www.sydney.com
First published in The Beast magazine, March 2024
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