I’m mowin’ the lawn in my thongs.
What in the world could go wrong?
I’ve still got all my toes
I’m ignoring my woes
While I’m mowin’ the lawn in my thongs.
Never used suntan lotion
Live just steps from the ocean
In a house that I bought
For a song.
Of my small strip of pasture
I am King, Lord and Master
And I reign over it
In my thongs.
Set up camp
In the Eighties
Filled the house full of babies
But they moved to the West
Or the ‘Gong.
Yep, they call me a Boomer
Got a ‘shack’ in Narooma
Where I mow my huge lawn
In my thongs.
Wearing singlet and stubbies,
From the days we built cubbies
And our Dads mowed the lawn
In their thongs.
From beneath Terry Towelling
I can see the youth scowling
While their own Aussie Dream
Is foregone.
My millennial neighbour
Said he’d do me a favour
After seein’ me mow
In my thongs.
He’ll cut grass and trim hedges
Then I’ll settle the ledger,
When I next mow the lawn in my thongs.
So, he runs an extension
That’s as large as my pension
Just to save all the birds
And their songs.
His is modern and silent
Mine is smelly and violent, but
How dare you tell me
That I’m wrong.
I just pour in the diesel,
Not like woke little weasels
And I mow all our lawns
In my thongs.
He gets ready for hours
Donning boots, goggles, trousers
While I sit on the deck
In my thongs.
Got my afternoon sorted
Kickin’ back with imported
Like I did on our cruise
To Ha Long.
I might turn on the cricket
While he trims at the thicket
And he better not leave it
Too long.
The Millenial’s savin’ for private schools
I might put in a private pool,
After mowin’ the lawn in my thongs.
Take a stroll to the beach,
Which is so out of reach
For those scared to mow
In their thongs.
Picked our way through the throng
And complained all day long
That you can’t smack a kid
With a thong.
When my house sells for millions
Will I share with the children
Or return with the missus
To Ha Long?
So, I’m mowin’ the lawn in my thongs.
What in the world could go wrong?
I’ve still got all my toes
I’m ignoring my woes
While I’m mowin’ the lawn in my thongs.
First published in The Beast magazine, February 2024
kieranblakewriter 