Woollahra residents are fighting desperately to prevent greater recognition of a marginalised and misunderstood group of Australian society.
Locals and business owners have joined fellow Aussies in an attempt to stop authorities from improving services for this group, and are citing societal division, expense, safety and loss of valuable land to justify their stance.
A small, well-financed and vocal coalition is saying NO to the Oxford Street East Cycleway, after labelling cycling a “divisive form of transport.” The coalition of the unwilling argues that cyclists will receive preferential treatment not afforded other Australians, and that valuable land will be surrendered to the minority if the proposal is approved.
“Dividing people in this way is dangerous,” stated a recent social media post from Stay in Your Lane, the group created to maintain the status quo.
“Everyone will be much safer if everything stays as it is. Cyclists already have a place to cycle, it’s called the road. Plus, even when you spend millions of dollars to give these people something good, they never use it.”
Critics also claim the new path will destroy local businesses and the economy, as it will remove parking spaces outside shops.
“These people just want to be different, and they still expect handouts from the government. If cyclists got off their bikes and drove cars like the rest of us, we wouldn’t lose our parking spaces.”
Australia is famous for rejecting such progressive change and is at odds with many of the world’s more advanced nations. Woollahra Council itself recently dumped plans to build a cycle path from Rushcutters Bay to Centennial Park when residents raised fears over privacy, while also implying that the people for whom the plan was designed posed a threat to their personal safety.
Opponents of the cycle way have thrown their support, and their wealth, behind leaders with unfulfilled political ambitions and a talent for amplifying the populist voice. These leaders have issued the familiar cry for greater consultation and detail, while supporters claim the naysayers have failed to listen to facts and evidence or details of the project.
Meanwhile, Woollahra Council and Transport for NSW expressed their desire to improve often squalid and dangerous conditions faced by cyclists, and to unify the region through this important development.
“We promised to paint the cycleway teal, as this would complement the climate action stickers on people’s bins.” revealed a spokesperson.
“However, it’s clear that teal only appeals to Eastern Suburbs residents once every four years,” before conceding,
“…perhaps we should paint it in the colour of the rainbow.”
The coming months will determine whether residents of the Eastern Suburbs attempt to cycle backwards while the world’s great cities move forward.
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First published in The Beast magazine, June 2023.
kieranblakewriter 